Naked Acapella

On the first day of spring break my sophomore year, my fraternity brothers and I were enjoying a relaxing morning:  The fridge and thus beer was cold, the breakfast we shared was luke-warm and poorly cooked, and everyone with a hangover was slowly recovering. It was a perfect Saturday. That's why I decided to take a nice long shower, trim my beard, and spend my weekend relishing in laziness, in proper frat-boy style.

The fraternity had 3 individual showers on the upper floors, separated by a curtain from the rest of the bathroom for even more privacy. So, as I headed into the bathroom I hung my bright green turtle themed towel on the hanger outside the shower and stepped into the furthest shower stall. Ignoring the fact that the shower next to me was occupied, I started to sing (because what's a showeer without music?), beginning with the always enjoyable, “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” I kicked it off with a repeated “Ohi’mbube, ohi’mbube, ohi’mbube, ohi’mbube” bass line. And yes, I had to look up how google suggests I spell the lyrics.

Much to my surprise, after a few measures of the bass part the shower next to me suddenly chimed in with a high tenor voice, “Wee-hee-hee-hee dee-wee-hee-hee-hee-oh-wee uh-bum-buhway” to start off the song.  Trying to sing through my laughter, I continued the bass part and let this new voice add their harmony above mine.

As we reached the point where the lyrics and main melody start I prepared to switch from bass to melody, but instead the third shower kicked on and a third voice joined in singing the lyrics, “In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight…” Their sweet sounding baritone nicely fit into our now three part harmony and so I stayed on the bass part while the middle shower original singer stayed on the higher harmony part.  I was highly amused, but given my odd and musical fraternity brothers I wasn’t particularly surprised.  We finished the song, and there was a moment of quiet in the shower as we all contemplated whether or not to continue.

Of course, one song is never enough (after all, a 4 minute shower is hardly time to shampoo and clean a beard as massive and masculine as my own) so I decided to start another up just to see if my frat brothers would follow my lead. I sang out loudly the low acapella opening of Billy Joel’s ‘For The Longest Time’ with a drawn out “Whoaaaaa, for the longest time,” Immediately, my fraternity brothers in their showers joined in on their respective voice parts. We finished this second song while I shampooed my beard (which, when trying to sing at the same time resulted in my accidentally swallowing and choking on what felt like gallons of soapy water).  Still trying to finish my shower before finishing the music, the three of us concluded our musical morning showers with the always fun Beatles song ‘Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da.’ 

Feeling refreshed, highly entertained, and squeaky-clean I grabbed my turtle-themed towel from the hanger, toweled off in the privacy of my curtained shower stall, and wrapped it around my waist. When I stepped out, I was almost perfectly in time with the other 2 shower-goers exiting with their own towels wrapped around them for privacy.  We laughed at our synchronized timing (probably a result of our shared musical tendencies), and opened the curtain separating the showers from the rest of the bathroom.

As we stepped out we were extremely surprised to see half a dozen women all wearing matching sorority sweatshirts sitting in the fold-out chairs we normally kept in the TV lounge down the hall. For a brief moment the phrase, "Dear Penthouse" crossed my mind, followed by the realization that I was the one undressed, and not the other way around. My thoughts were interrupted, however, because upon seeing us sorority girls all began clapping, while one called loudly “Encore, encore!” Momentarily robbed of my words, it was my fraternity brother with the high tenor voice who demanded to know, “What in the hell?” to the women seated before us.  The apparent queen of the pack stood up from her chair and told us, “We were all down the hall to say hi to Mikey [one of our fraternity brothers], and we heard you guys putting on a concert, so we stepped in to enjoy it from front-row seats.” This statement was met with many giggles and smirks from the women, which caused me to blush an incredibly dark shade of red.

I babbled out a confused, “Oh…ummm….thanks?” The girls giggled at our obvious discomfort and lack of clothing, while the matriach of sorts approached me and laid her hand possessively on my shoulder. Squeezing my naked, damp shoulder and speaking in a mockingly comforting tone she teased, “I can honestly say that was the best time I’ve had with naked men in this house, hands down! Naked acapella, what a great way to start Spring Break Saturday!”  Then she turned around, grabbed her folding chair, and motioned her posse of women to follow. Gathering themselves quickly, they all took their matching sweatshirts and matching smiles with them into the hallway, and we heard them giggling and chittering among themselves as they walked away.

My fraternity brothers and I stood in stunned silence for a few moments longer. The tenor suddenly turned to face me and with a smile stated proudly, “Best time she's had with a naked guy?  I’ve decided to take that as a compliment...and a challenge.”  He then dropped his towel to the floor, flashed the remaining two of us a wicked grin (and more) and began singing, “I’m singing in the nude, just singing in the nude! What a glorious feeling: A pants-less-nude-dude!”  Mid-verse he threw open the door to the hallway and jumped out, following the women as they laughed and clapped, serenading them all wearing only his birthday suit.

I hope you enjoyed this tale of college craziness, coeds, and confusion.  Thanks for reading and check out other BB+B posts in the sidebar, or the facebook and twitter BB+B pages in the bar at the top of the blog.
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-Brian, the Author Guy.