Overly Protective Men of the World: Rejoice!

I'm naturally protective of the people in my life, particularly the women.   It's probably a bit old fashioned to admit, but when my sister (my senior by two years) dated a few guys back in the day, I liked to take them aside to give them 'the talk.' 

'The talk' is a very common and unpleasant affair.  Almost every guy at one point and time receives 'the talk' from someone's brother, or father.  Whenever a guy gets serious about a new girlfriend, 'the talk' will inevitably get passed along by someone who feels protective of her.  'The talk' usually starts with, "This isn't a threat, I just want to make sure you understand..." and ends with "and if you hurt her I will do unspeakable things to you, things so terrible they won't even know if it's your body." 

For me, I had the chance to deliver 'the talk' to a guy that seemed to not only respect what I said, but understand where I was coming from. It was several years ago now, and at the time my sister and Prince Charming had been dating for a few months, long enough that he was coming to meet her family. He was introduced and strutted around before us all (as every boyfriend eventually must be) and once he'd proven he was polite enough to gain my mom's approval and direct enough to gain my dad's respect, Prince Charming turned to my brother and I.  My brother, characteristically, gave him the stink eye and walked off. Trying to seem equally tough, I shook his hand unnecessarily hard and was just barely polite enough to seem friendly.  And, when my sister soon left the room, I quietly made some comment about 'I hope you're a nice guy, for her sake and your own'.  I was ready to leave with that introductory fragment of 'the talk' when Prince Charming shocked me....he actually had something to say in response.

Prince Charming put one hand on my shoulder, made quick eye-contact with me, and said "I love your sister, don't worry.  She's in good hands."

By addressing my concerns and by taking the time to go out of his way and talk to me, the little brother, Prince Charming won my respect as her boyfriend. At least as far as the first stage of familial acceptance goes, he'd passed with major success.

Dating is like winning at Mario:  If you beat one level, you still have to beat the rest of game!

For all of the protective and nervous brothers, fathers, friends, etc. that read this article, let me explain: I want to assuage your fears.  You see, it turns out that from time to time, the women in your life are going to find an amazing guy, a guy you WON'T have to threaten, and a guy you feel comfortable with the women of your life spending time with. 

For the women reading this article, if I seem like an old-fashioned idiot who doesn't think my sister can take care of herself, realize that I have NO DOUBTS about her ability to make good choices.  I also feel the need to try to protect her, anyway.  It's probably a bit of a caveman mentality but damnit, it's who I am and I love my sister too much to let her get hurt by a jerk I haven't at least threatened with violence.

But I've digressed long enough and have one more story about Prince Charming and my lovely sister to share. It's the tale of how Prince Charming went from being her boyfriend to being my own friend.

* * *

Several years ago my sister and I were visiting our family in Texas during a holiday break.  Prince Charming was there, and my parents decided that his presence deserved a photo-shoot of sorts.  So we went to a local park area and were set up into a few dozen cliched pictures, and were made to smile and pose like we were all having a rousing good time. It was a bit boring, but we endured because my mother loves her scrap-booking and it's not a tough request to spend a few hours helping her have a good time.  Eventually, however, my family decided that they wanted a really cute shot of myself, my sister, and Prince Charming in a giant old tree. 

Prince Charming, the thin and in-shape guy that he is, jumped into the crook of the tree about four feet off the ground and was just thin enough to squeeze into the V-shaped nook, and pull himself up.  I, on the other hand, lacked both the strength and size to get into the tree, and so I embarrassingly struggled for a few moments before backing up and muttering something about how I 'Didn't want to be in a stupid tree anyway'. I walked around to the back of the tree to see if there were other places to climb, and was quickly disappointed.  But now that I was out of the eye-line of my parents and thus not as easily embarrassed, Prince Charming decided he was going to be a pal and help me out.  He climbed into a stable position, thrust his arm down, and claimed he'd pull me up. 

Now, I'm a big guy.  I'm 6'2" and around 20 stone (that's old-fashioned speak for 'hard to lift into a tree'). So I didn't think that Prince Charming was going to be able to hoist me up.  But, I let him try, and with his help and my desperate scrambling, I actually managed to get into the tree.  And like a gentleman, Prince Charming didn't make a fuss about it. He didn't even tell anyone that I'd required his assistance to get into the tree.  He just moved on, like it wasn't a big deal.  At that moment, Prince Charming was more than just my sister's boyfriend, he became my future Brother-in-law.  A simple and seemingly insignificant gesture to help me avoid embarrassment about my size made him my friend, and he handled himself so nicely that he proved himself to me. You see, he wasn't just nice to me when he needed my approval, he was nice to me because he wanted to be nice to me.  That's not something I'm accustomed to finding from my sister's old boyfriends, so it was rather shocking. I thanked the Prince for his kindness, then I helped my sister into the tree as well, and we took a very cute family picture.

Sister in the middle of the tree, me on the far right, and prince charming on the left. 
My parents are posed in front.

Many of us guys see our friends or family members being courted by jerks.  We see our sisters flirting with douchebags, and we know in our heart of hearts that she'll eventually be crying and sad about how he's just another in a long line of men who will disappoint her. We see our female friends shaken by another failed relationship with king of the assholes, who tricked her into thinking he was a good guy.

However, from time to time we can get lucky. Yes, overly protective men of the world, from time to time,  the women in our lives will choose a guy that's absolutely perfect for her.  He'll have the right temperament, and disposition, and he'll love her unconditionally.  He might not be a flawless person, but he'll definitely be a flawless match.  If you're lucky, you might find that he's like Prince Charming is with me:  Family. Because when he shows that he'll look out for her AND be friends and kind to you, a guy proves that he's not sticking around for a short while.  He's sticking around for the long-haul. He can be your Prince Charming:  Family. And nothing says family like carrying my big-ass into a tree, just so we can take a perfect family photo.


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As always, keep reading and have a great day,
Brian, the Author guy