What Am I reading?

Hello dear reader!

I take it, by your reading of this particular page, that you are wondering what you're reading.
Well, I would think the answer obvious, since the title at the top should be stating you're reading "Beards, Bears, and Brian", but if you remain confused, allow me to explain.
This is the result of an individual (Brian) living an exciting life (such as experiencing the horror of fleeing from bears) and having amusing stories to tell (by nature of having a really bad-ass beard, which is a natural requirement for excellent storytelling).
The stories, musings, and general topics of this blog will range and change over time, but the basic concept is that Brian finds an amusing story, memory, or topic, and writes about it. Basically, it's a typical blog, except that the general purpose here is not to explain to the world about the trials and tribulations of daily life, but to amuse others and tell comical stories.

A NOTE:
The blog will continue swearing, references to sexuality or genitalia, and almost certainly absurdist humor. If you're easily offended, dislike any of those or related topics, or are a particularly bad whiner, I suggest you stop reading.

Still, if you wish to continue onward, the blog will contain 3 main areas of writing.

First, of course, will be the stories. Samples that are being edited, written, or have been written include topics such as,
"Why I fear bus stations", "How a kitten stole my manhood", and "The secret order of the beard."
Second will be general musings. These won't necessarily relate to a particular event, but should still fit into the general comedy theme. Samples include,
"Fat people have super-powers", "The emotional scars of puberty", and "How testicles might disprove God"
Lastly, there will be more serious works, allegorical or literal depending on the situation. They should remain funny, but have a deeper meaning to convey. Samples include,
"The crying lunch-lady", "Never go streaking", and "Superman's a dick".
If you've made it this far, congratulations. You're probably sick of my tone, or ravenous for more gentle sarcasm....in either case, he's more sarcasm. But not gentle sarcasm. Super, over the top sarcasm, that would be frustrating if heard verbally, but might be amusing when digested visually.
-Begin Sarcasm-
I TOTALLY won't try to update often. I DEFINITELY meant to write in first and third person, in the same post, confusing the readers. I'm NOT AT ALL too lazy to fix it.
You are going to HATE the things I write, and I think it would be TERRIBLE AND DUMB for you to write me comments, e-mails, or notes about what you do or don't like. I'm ABSOLUTELY AGAINST people reading this, and think you should stop right now.
-End Sarcasm-


Finally, if you've gotten this far, and you're still not sure what you're reading, know that this blog is the result of an idea that arose when I was in undergrad, and pursuing degrees in both Biology and Writing. I hoped to become a famous scientist, and hoped to spread the word of science through writing amusing stories, in the hope that people would respond positively to writing that was both amusing and educational. I wrote a few articles, a couple hundred pages of notes, and found that I preferred being mostly amusing, and sharing my pre-existing stories. However, I'm still pursuing a graduate degree in science, so I'd like to share my many areas of interest online, and this is the result of that hope.
So: Funny stories, sarcasm, and likely amusing pictures of some sort in the future...who knows, that's Future Brian's problem.
Either way, thanks for reading, and I hope you laughed, or at least chuckled mentally while stoically staring at your computer monitor.
Keep laughing,
Brian