ADULTHOOD is a pain in the ass. As a kid, you're basically going to promise yourself a million foolish things. "I'll be a good adult, I'll work hard but I'll have more fun. I won't worry about bedtime, and I'll eat ice cream and cake whenever I want to."
I'll admit readily that I've probably lived as the childish me wanted to at times. I've been gluttonous, lethargic, hedonistic, and I've seen what the result of that is: Lots of smelly clothes on the floor, an inability to focus, and of course, frequent and terrible trips to the bathroom to poison the air with toxic fumes. Yeah, that's right. My first blog post in years is going to make reference to poop and farts. Because I'm an adult, goddamnit.
But there are 5 problems that jumped to my mind that I didn't consider as a kid that make adulthood a different beast than I expected. And while there are definitely more than 5, and I can't even guarantee these are the same for anyone else, these are 5 that popped into my head.
- YOU ARE ACTUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR STUFFTHAT'S RIGHT world, you are responsible for rent, for your job, for pets and your neighbors, and making sure your apartment isn't in such a state that the first inspection by a nosy landlord doesn't leave you kicked out and alone. It turns out...you CAN'T just ignore life if you want to keep that job, keep yourself sane, and live in even the slight comfort of lower-middle-class anonymity.
- SLEEP IS ACTUALLY KIND OF A GOOD THING. Every 5 year old in history is now ready to punch me, somehow. But it's true! Sleep is good, and you need it. Staying up late every night might be fun in a bit of college-aged revelry, but the minute you realize that you have to be at work in 6 hours and you still haven't gone to sleep, you start to wonder if setting a sort of informal 'bedtime' isn't actually kind of a good idea. And worse yet, the older you get, the more it feels difficult to wake up. Sooooo, basically it becomes something like a necessity...just to function. Woo? Yay adulthood?
- YOUR DEFINITION OF FUN CHANGES REALLY FAST
At the end of my high school career, my idea of 'fun' was playing dungeons and dragons with my friends, watching tv for a few hours, and having friends over. And while in college my idea of fun sounds similar...there's a difference between a nerdy 17-year-old's idea of a party, and an 18 year old college fraternity-pledged freshman's idea of a party. And then in graduate school, I went from loving the idea of a raucous, almost Dionysian party-god experience to wanting to relax and talk and have a glass of some kind of marginally expensive alcohol. Then I graduated from there, too, and now my idea of fun might be a bit broader...but if you asked me for a college fraternity party night, I'd say it sounds loud and busy. If you asked me to enjoy my high school parties, I'd find it a little boring, and rather 'childish'. And as a result...I just don't want to have fun the way I used to. So those plans I had as a kid? Those things I wanted Adulthood to entail? Yeah, no such luck. - YOUR JOB ACTUALLY MATTERS
Now, I hate to say this since I've worked a lot of jobs, but having a good job is not exactly easy or common. Having an OK job? Or a 'fine' job? Much more common. But even then...you know how your little-kid self thought you'd be a firefighter? Yeah, little kid you never realized how hard and dangerous and time-consuming that would be for mediocre to poor money, depending on the location. How about being an Astronaut? Oh, wait, there are so few astronauts, and NASA is flying to space less and less, and you might be disqualified for height, or grades, or a million tony things not to mention the luck it takes to just be able to get in anywhere at all...
Anyhow, MOST people are working jobs they don't love but that they can handle. For money that they think is adequate but not nearly what they feel they want or deserve. And worst of all...you don't just stumble into most jobs. Even working in retail, or the service industry, you tend to develop a skillset and stay in a similar position most of the time! Kid you said things like, "If I don't like being an astronaut I'll be a CEO or something!" Well, kid, that's not how it works. And if you DO leave a job simply because it's not fun, you're not likely to find a new one very easily or be satisfied with it once you do...because your job, skills, training, and employment matter WAY MORE than childhood you realized. - RESPONSIBILITIES ARE A BITCH
Pardon the language, but it's true. Responsibilities you don't ever think of as a kid will crop up. They will change your priorities and plans. And you will deal with them more often than you expect. Maybe it's having to go visit family instead of having that lovely vacation time to yourself over the short holiday your job allows you near christmas. Maybe it's the pet you bought because you wanted companionship, but didn't consider was going to need someone to feed it even if you have a day off and wanted to go on a sudden roadtrip. Maybe it's your parents aging and needing help to ensure their well-being and comfort. Maybe it's the extra shifts you're pulling at work because your work-friend who you kinda sorta like as a person needs a hand and you want to be a good person. So, yeah...responsibilities crop up. They matter. They NEED to be taken care of. And that's not a bad thing...it's just something your childhood self never thought about.
I know it's hard to admit that your ideas of adulthood were so flawed. I know it's hard to believe that the person you expected to be isn't the person you actually are. But there's also a million pieces of adulthood your childhood self never understood, like the satisfaction that comes from doing a job well and actually taking pride in it. EVEN if it's not what you thought you'd be doing with your life. Or, you know, love and romance (since kids think in terms of 'princess and prince' much more than 'actual comprehension of satisfying partnerships'). Or the simple things that start to make your days better as an adult, like the chance to relax over a weekend and rad a book that you've had on your 'to read' list for months. Even that pet that can at times be a major pain or responsibility suddenly saying hello, and reminding you that you're REALLY GLAD you got them.
Yeah, adulthood is harder, more complicated, and much, MUCH more confusing than your childhood self understood. But it's what you've got, and fighting it and ranting against it aren't exactly going to turn you into a positive, rounded individual. So I guess you need to decide how much you want to grow up, and how much of your kid-self to hold onto. After all...even adults can enjoy SOME kid things. So take a nap, splurge on a candy bar at the next gas station you fill up at, and remember that it's OK to be a kid sometimes...but that a kid never really understands how to be an adult, until they look around and realize with surprise that they already became one.
Hopefully this post entertains. I'm not going to make plans about new posts and changes...I just had the writing bug today. So here you go.
-Brian
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